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Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More Paperback – December 2, 2014

by Janet Mock (Author)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,865 ratings
Goodreads Choice Award nominee
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New York Times Bestseller • Winner of the 2015 WOMEN'S WAY Book Prize • Goodreads Best of 2014 Semi-Finalist • Books for a Better Life Award Finalist • Lambda Literary Award Finalist • Time Magazine “30 Most Influential People on the Internet” • American Library Association Stonewall Honor Book

In her profound and courageous New York Times bestseller, Janet Mock establishes herself as a resounding and inspirational voice for the transgender community—and anyone fighting to define themselves on their own terms.

With unflinching honesty and moving prose, Janet Mock relays her experiences of growing up young, multiracial, poor, and trans in America, offering readers accessible language while imparting vital insight about the unique challenges and vulnerabilities of a marginalized and misunderstood population. Though undoubtedly an account of one woman’s quest for self at all costs, Redefining Realness is a powerful vision of possibility and self-realization, pushing us all toward greater acceptance of one another—and of ourselves—showing as never before how to be unapologetic and real.
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  1. Print length
    288 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    December 2, 2014
  4. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.7 x 8.38 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    1476709130
  6. ISBN-13
    978-1476709130
  7. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Far too many assume that Janet Mock's story is primarily about her body. This book is irrefutable evidence that Janet must be understood through her intellect, spirit, and wit. Janet does what only great writers of autobiography accomplish—she tells a story of the self, which turns out to be a reflection of all humanity. You will be changed by this book.” -- Melissa Harris-Perry, Wake Forest University Professor and host of MSNBC's "Melissa Harris-Perry"

“Janet Mock is a glamorous, smarty-pants writer and activist…. Her book about her life as a transwoman, Redefining Realness, isn’t just a service to the trans community but to every woman – hell, person – who has struggled with identity.” -- Lena Dunham, actress and author of Not That Kind of Girl

“Courageous! Told with a spirit of raw honesty that moves beyond confession to redemptive revelation, this book is a life map for transformation—for changing minds. A heart-rending autobiography of love, longing, and fulfillment.” -- bell hooks, feminist, social activist, and author of All About Love

“Redefining Realness is a classic American autobiography. Like Richard Wright and Maya Angelou, Janet Mock brings us into a world we may not know and with breathtaking insight, courage, and masterful craft makes her story universal.” -- Barbara Smith, author of the Truth That Never Hurts: Writings on Race, Gender, and Freedom, co-founder of Kitchen Table: Women of Color Press

"Janet Mock’s groundbreaking book is testimony to the remarkable progress trans people have achieved over the last decade-- and shines a bright light on the work that still needs to be done. Mock’s clear, lucid prose will open hearts and minds, and further the goals of equality and justice--not just for trans people, but for everyone. Redefining Realness is loving, searing, and true." -- Jennifer Finney Boylan, author of She’s Not There and Stuck in the Middle With You

“Redefining Realness is a riveting, emotional, crisply written testimony. I couldn't put it down. I aspire to be as unflinchingly brave! Janet Mock's story simultaneously embodies, complicates, and subverts the concept of American exceptionalism and self-creation.” -- Laverne Cox, actress, advocate, and star of Orange Is the New Black

“Defining oneself is a revolutionary act, and, as described in her memoir, Janet Mock fiercely fought to free herself with exquisite bravery and sensitivity. Redefining Realness is full of hope, dreams, and determination. It is a true American girl story.” -- Michaela angela Davis, Image Activist/Writer/CNN Contributor

“Every Cinderella story has its problematic step-parents to maneuver around, and its metaphorical fireplaces to clean, before the heroine is whisked off to the ball. Janet Mock’s is no exception. But the real magic here is not of the fairy-tale kind. Redefining Realness overflows with the everyday magic of survival and resiliency in low income communities of color, of loving kindness bursting through the cracks of a hard reality, and of the life-sustaining bonds of family, friendships, and a powerful trans sisterhood.” -- Susan Stryker, author of Transgender History and Associate Professor of Gender and Women’s Studies and Director of the Institute for LGBT, University of Arizona

"Janet Mock's honest and sometimes searing journey is a rare and important look into la vida liminal, one that she manages to negotiate remarkably well, with grace, humor, and fierce grit. Mock doesn't only redefine what realness means to her, but challenges us to rethink our own perceptions of gender and sexuality, feminism and sisterhood, making this book a transcendent piece of American literature." -- Raquel Cepeda, author of Bird of Paradise: How I Became Latina

“An eye-opening and unapologetic story that is much greater than mere disclosure.... An enlightening, much-needed perspective on transgender identity.” ― Kirkus Reviews

“Mock defies the historically apolitical confines of the transgender memoir, and draws bright lines connecting her experiences to the larger realm of social justice, with a keen political eye that uses her individual experience to elucidate the wider condition of trans women of color in the U.S. Her vivid prose arouses every sense.... Although the book is ostensibly one woman’s coming-of-age story, Mock fulfills grander purposes here; in coming to terms with her own difficult journey she also uses that experience didactically, as if to take the uninitiated, non-transgender reader with her, most certainly achieving 'realness.'” ― Publishers Weekly

“...intelligent and educational…. Recommended for lovers of memoirs and for readers with sincere interest in the subject matter.” ― Library Journal

“A classic feminist coming-of-age story that’s worthy of your mantel. . . . Her memoir recounts a life that is both hardscrabble and hard-fought, making for a must-read book that is at turns riveting and wonderfully emotionally nuanced.” -- The Advocate

“Pardon the hyperbole, but Janet Mock may be the best person ever. . . . A beautiful, powerful memoir.” ― Rookie

“A fiery success.” ― The Atlantic

“The beauty of Mock’s memoir is that it is both personal and universal; her story is her own, but it also transcends the specificity of her life narrative to touch all of us.” ― Lambda Literary

“Redefining Realness is a rare autobiography in that it reads less like a memoir and more like a conversation with a homegirl. . . . [It] made me feel like I was on my couch with a friend sharing secrets rather than reading a carefully constructed narrative. That, I think, is a gift.” ― Crunk Feminist Collective

“Mock’s grace in handling complexity is matched by her frankness, and she talks race, class, and intersectional politics without ever sounding polemical.” ― The Rumpus

“Mock’s compelling memoir entrancingly chronicles the story of a multiracial trans woman’s becoming within a society that is still widely antagonistic to the non-White, non-male, transgender, and economically challenged among us. . . . Mock has written herself into herstory. And she has done so with clarity and poetic brilliance.” ― The Feminist Wire

“Janet Mock shares that which society tells us to keep secret . . . and uses it not only to strengthen herself, and empower other girls but also to educate.” ― For Books' Sake

“Here’s the short version of my review: go buy it and read it now. . . . Mock brings the same bravery and fierce determination that is evident in her history to the writing of the book, claiming her own story and making sure experiences that have often been used to dehumanize trans women and reduce us to our transition status instead serve to give the reader a more full and honest glimpse of her humanity.” ― Feministing

“Redefining Realness details a truly American story. Its poor heroine winning independence, success, and love through intelligence, determination, and hard work makes it timeless. Its portrait of a society grappling with issues of fragmented families, race, drug addiction, abuse, sex work, poverty, sexual orientation, and gender identity make it more timely and relevant than anyone expecting a ‘transgender memoir’ could possibly predict.” ― The Daily Dot

“A memoir that takes the coming-of-age narrative to both a higher and deeper level.” ― Slate

“It's fully intersectional, deliciously activist, wonderfully unapologetic, brazen, and beautiful. I love Mock's book because, like the best feminist reads, it’s really about the insight that telling stories can be a revolutionary act.” -- Laura Ciolkowski, Associate Director of the Center for the Study of Social Difference and Adjunct Associate Professor of English and Comparative Literature at Columbia University

About the Author

Janet Mock is a writer, TV host, and advocate tackling stigma through storytelling. With a Master’s in journalism from New York University, the Honolulu native began her career as an editor at People.com and went on to write cover stories for Marie Claire, Interview, and The Advocate as well as essays for The New Yorker, The New York Times, and Lenny. She produced HBO’s The Trans List, hosts the podcast Never Before, and serves as a columnist for Allure. Called a “fearless new voice” and “trailblazing leader” who “changed my way of thinking” by Oprah Winfrey, Janet was a featured speaker at the historic Women’s March on Washington. She is the author of Surpassing Certainty and the New York Times bestseller Redefining Realness. Find out more at JanetMock.com.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Atria Books; Reprint edition (December 2, 2014)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1476709130
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1476709130
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.38 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,865 ratings

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  1. Tenisha mock

    Tenisha mock

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  2. tenisha mock

    tenisha mock

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    I am Tenisha of the true soulmate. mysteries in time series and many more books to come. I like book, the outdoor. animals [ especially dog, pancake and I mention books I am American living in England which is why my English is all mixed up, before I because of an author. I was a child club coordination for a church. my own book cooks up a blend of magic, history, and of course-; a lot of adventure. so if you're on the look own next epic adventure, you have come to the right place.

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  3. Janet Mock

    Janet Mock

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    Janet Mock wrote the New York Times bestseller Redefining Realness which tells the story of her trans girlhood, and hosts the podcast, "Never Before," a conversation series with guests like Tina Knowles Lawson, Representative Maxine Waters and Lena Dunham. In 2017, she wrote her second memoir, "Surpassing Certainty: What My Twenties Taught Me," which centers the years in her life when she was not open about being trans.

    With a Masters in journalism from New York University, the Honolulu native worked as an editor at People.com, produced and conducted interviews for the HBO documentary "The Trans List", hosted a series of specials for MSNBC (including "So POPular!" and the upcoming "Beyond My Body" series) and appeared on OWN’s Super Soul Sunday -- in which Oprah Winfrey called her a “fearless new voice” and “trailblazing leader” who “changed my way of thinking.”

    Janet has been lauded by the Ms. Foundation for Women, Planned Parenthood, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project and Time magazine which named her one of “the most influential people on the Internet.” The New York City-based writer is a contributing editor at ALLURE where she helms the column, "Beauty Beyond Binaries." Find out more at JANETMOCK.com

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
1,865 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

K. Redd
5.0 out of 5 stars Masterpiece!
Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2014
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"Redefining Realness" stirred up memories of my freshman year in college. During the spring semester, my English professor introduced the class to books by authors of subjects many of us had only heard of, but never even remotely experienced. Authors like E. Lynn Harris. His book "Just As I Am" sparked a fire in us that made us trample over other students hanging out in the quad, just to make it to the classroom in time to dissect the more than 380 pages of fictional sizzle. As we talked about the book and the issues it brought to the forefront, our discussions were filled with joy, anger, curiosity, and just a flat-out appreciation of Harris' writing skills.

This is how I felt while reading "Redefining Realness" - even before completing the first chapter. With my excitement level on "high", I wanted to immediately hightail it to someone's book club and talk about what I had just read!

This book is awesome. Janet Mock takes readers on the journey of her life as a trans woman of color - a journey that was as foreign to me as a map of the streets of Djibouti City. I honestly did not realize that the lives of transgender people were that intense (especially poor trans people of color). Thanks to media portrayals of trans men and women over the years, I likened them to "drag queens" and reduced their lives to simply being "people who like to play dress-up." To me, a person was either gay, lesbian, or straight. Nothing else. However, Mock's experience, passion, rawness, statistics, and transparency, taught me that the world does not fit neatly into compartments.

"Redefining Realness" evoked thought, compassion, and awareness - everything I expected based on the title of the book, as well as the publicity which has surrounded it over the last few months. I thoroughly enjoyed Mock's storytelling (story within a story), particularly the imagery she used to tell her story. Much like her "shero" Zora Neale Hurston, Mock's descriptive writing engaged all of the standard senses and more. I felt the winds and humidity of Oahu. I saw Charles, Sr.'s gold tooth with the Cowboys' shout-out. I touched Keisha's hair right along with Jamie. I heard conversations in Hawaiian pidgen on the streets as Janet and Wendi pooched. I tasted grandma's gumbo while eavesdropping on family gossip. (The pop music references sprinkled throughout the book made it even more "real" for me because I remember where I was when all of those songs debuted!)

On top of all of this, Mock made me laugh. Her quick wit provided a much-welcomed intermission from a stressful and, at times, unbelievable read. It was good to laugh to keep from crying. However, even in comedy, she managed to teach lessons. I'll never confuse a "drag queen" for a trans woman again because I now know "a drag queen is part-time for showtime. A trans woman is all the time." Love it!

"Redefining Realness" is a masterpiece, not only because of the content, but because of Mock's incredible writing skills. I appreciate her for using her unique story to inform, chastise, correct, and commend. That's what real women do.

I look forward to more work from Mock in any genre.
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Dr. Leanna Floyd
5.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring. Insightful. Beautiful.
Reviewed in the United States on February 5, 2021
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Redefining Realness is a heartwarming autobiography that is beautifully written
and takes readers into the private and intimate parts of the author’s life on her journey as a trans woman. The author’s transparency about her life and struggles brought an element of realness to her story further highlighting her courage in navigating through these challenging life events. I loved the themes of strength and perseverance laced throughout the story. The author's unwillingness to give up in the face of adversity was inspiring, and her tenacity encourages individuals to keep fighting to be heard and to be their authentic selves. This book is educational and inspiring. Overall,
Redefining Realness is a very engaging read and an amazing story that pulls on your emotions making it an unforgettable story.
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Tina W.
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting, but not artfully written
Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2015
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I bought this book out of curiosity. I had never heard of the author, but reading a blurb about her experience intrigued me. While I wouldn't consider this to be a well-written masterpiece, I did find myself reading through it quickly, anxious to hear what happened next. An interesting glimpse into a world far removed from my own, but I wish it had been better scribed so that I could really enjoy what I like to call "the art of the writing." It just wasn't there for me.
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Zakiya Lord
5.0 out of 5 stars Self determination and triumph
Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2014
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This story can stand alone and will inform this generation, and next. Janet speaks to her personal story in a way that has global applicability. Through her word pictures, she takes the reader through her journey of poverty, while openly acknowledging the areas where she has experienced the benefits of privilege. There are many relationships in this book that speak to me but the one that stands out is her relationship with her brother Chad. It is universal. She beautifully describes their relationship to one another as well as with their parents. She discusses adolescence in a way that makes one smile, reflect and even smirk at times. Janet is willing to dive into the intricacies of intimacy within friendship, as she discusses growing up with her friend Wendy and the development of trust between them, as experienced over eye brow tweezing and shared hormones.
Janet allows the reader to be at once in the moment, while at the same time speaking to adult reflection and perspective as she discusses her mother's love looked different at different times in her life.
I could go on about why this book is excellent, and why I would recommend it to any and everyone. This is a love story. This is a book about social justice. This book is about education access and the power that education can have to transform lives. Yes this book touches on physical transformation but to deduce it to simply as story about a transgender woman of color would be an injustice.
This is a memoir that will stand the test of time.
A story of triumph and a willingness to live fully.
Redefining Realness is about self-determination.
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Top reviews from other countries

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lc141071
5.0 out of 5 stars I love this book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 26, 2023
Verified Purchase
Wow what an amazing book! In fact I've already ordered Janet's second book and I haven't even finished this one yet. A very thought provoking story of survival and a determination to be who she is regardless of the consequences.

This book goes towards a clear understanding of why it is so important to push forward for Trans rights throughout the world and over the course of time I'm sure this book and Janet will be viewed as a pioneering piece of work that stopped and made people think about how Trans people have a right to be who they where born to be....
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Til
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read
Reviewed in Germany on January 23, 2021
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This book is already a classic in feminist literature in my opinion.
Can recommend to anyone who's interested in intersectional feminism.
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Alberto
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
Reviewed in Mexico on December 4, 2017
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me encanto porque habla de su experiencia de una manera en la cual nos logran envolver a todos y sentirnos parte de ella. despuies de leerlo siento que la conozco de toda la vida.
One person found this helpful
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Bond
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in India on November 17, 2017
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good......
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Chelsea Wendt
5.0 out of 5 stars A smart and deeply personal book...
Reviewed in Canada on March 9, 2014
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My copy of Janet Mock’s new Redefining Realness looks like a sticky note farm. She makes so many incisive remarks that I’ve had to take a lot of notes!

This woman is a force to be reckoned with. Not only has she bared her soul in this book, she has used that intense light to bring strong focus to problems and questions that face trans people everywhere, as well as issues facing poor and non-white trans people in particular. She is a good writer and storyteller and I read the book in a hot joy over the weekend.

Janet is clearly a feminist with a strong awareness of how our “choosing” to be feminine puts us in a particularly precarious position with regard to misogyny. We generally have to defend our right to express femininity. “It was a balancing act to express femininity in a world that is hostile toward it and frames femininity as artifice and fake, in opposition to masculinity, which often represents ‘realness.’”

I loved this book. It is deeply personal and heartfelt, yet she generalizes from her own experience to make remarks of deep insight. She is very up to date on trans and other related issues and covers many of them with strength and care.

Redefining Realness is certainly one of the most, and perhaps the most, useful trans autobiography I’ve read, and that’s a lot.
2 people found this helpful
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