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The Harder I Fight the More I Love You: A Memoir Hardcover – January 28, 2025

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 71 ratings

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A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
AN APPLE BEST BOOK OF THE MONTH

S
inger-songwriter Neko Case paints a vivid portrait of an extraordinary life—one forged through a poverty-stricken childhood, obsessive desire, bursts of comedy, and indispensable friendships—reflecting on the way art, music, and a deep connection to nature helped her  become a beloved, Grammy-nominated artist.

Neko Case has long been revered as one of music’s most influential artists, whose authenticity, lyrical storytelling, and sly wit have endeared her to a legion of critics, musicians, and lifelong fans. In THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU, Case brings her trademark candor and precision to a memoir that traces her evolution from an invisible girl “raised by two dogs and a space heater” in rural Washington state to her improbable emergence as an internationally-acclaimed talent.

In luminous, sharp-edged prose, Case shows readers what it’s like to be left alone for hours and hours as a child, to take refuge in the woods around her home, and to channel the monotony and loneliness and joy that comes from music, camaraderie, and shared experience into art.

THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a rebellious meditation on identity and corruption, and a manifesto on how to make space for ourselves in this world, despite the obstacles we face.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Readers don’t need to be familiar with her music to be moved by her raw, unflinching memoir, which chronicles her impoverished and at times surreal upbringing as well as her long journey toward self-confidence. It’s a book that mixes defiant humor with an unsentimental resilience that recalls Cheryl Strayed.”
 ―
New York Times

“But let’s stay awhile, you and I… reading Case’s gorgeous memoir, THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU, which hits you in the same places her songs do: heart and gut, funny bone and sad bone.”―
Washington Post Book Review

“Case has a songwriter’s gift for potent imagery…That imagination and wit speak to the other prevailing theme in the memoir, the element that gives it a lift: Case’s observations of her hard-won resilience.”―
Kirkus (starred review)

“Reader, I really want to hand this book to you personally and tell you, in one excited rush, how much it moved me. 
THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a hell of an origin story: heartbreaking and funny, brave and weird, hard to swallow and impossible to put down. Neko Case has been my favorite singer-songwriter for many years, hands down, and now she’s written one of my favorite memoirs.”
 ―
Maggie Smith, New York Times bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful

"A vivid, exuberant, heartrending coming-of-age story that demonstrates the saving power of art. This book captured me the way Case's songs do: with their ache and beauty and promise that the only way through this life is to feel it all."
 ―
Melissa Febos, author of Girlhood, winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism

"This is a fierce, funny, moving memoir that will break your heart and patch it back up. Case's writing is as piercing and beautiful as her gorgeous singing, and will carry you away completely." 
 ―
New York Times bestselling author Susan Orlean

"The gift of Neko Case as a memoirist mirrors the gift of Neko Case as a songwriter: there is a warmth of clarity, of language selection, of narrative flourish. This book reads, and feels, as if you are on a porch with an old friend, telling you stories you've heard a hundred times, but cannot wait to hear once more."
 ―
Hanif Abdurraqib, author of #1 National Bestseller There's Always This Year

"This book, like everything Neko Case touches, is a work of art — full of moments that kaleidoscope your view of the world into something new. Heartbreaking and honest and raw,
THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a testament to the fact that this artist, like her music, was born from the fire."―Rebecca Makkai, author of I Have Some Questions for You

"I burned through this book in three feverish days, overcome by the spellcasting, storytelling, and pure song of Neko Case’s words. Here is one of the most remarkable people you will ever meet, on the page or otherwise: So honest, kind, funny, and tender—so
human—you will fall in love if you haven’t already. A book not so much about the creation of an icon as it is about the lionhearted love Neko Case has for the whole damn world."
 ―
Rachel Yoder, author of Nightbitch

“With equal doses of grit and self-compassion, Case delivers a riveting autobiography that will fascinate even those who’ve never heard her music.”―
Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“Case shares a raw and inspiring heroine’s journey.”―
Booklist Reviews

“In her richly told memoir…Case employs the same fairy tale-like storytelling language in
The Harder I Fight that she uses in her lyrics, casting a veil of enchantment over her experiences, however painful… Hold The Harder I Fightin your lap like a warm, furred creature. Listen to what the psychopomp has to say, and let it guide you out of the woods.”―BookPage

“The singer-songwriter Neko Case’s new memoir is a superhero origin story…It’s through Case’s extraordinary imagination and resilience that she’s managed to make so much out of her inner were-creature.”―
Slate

“A musician’s autobiography where the most riveting parts, the engine driving it all, don’t really have to do with her wild young days in a small-city music scene or her gradual rise to fame. This is more a survival story; a life in music is the solution, not the plot.”―
Vulture

About the Author

Singer, songwriter, music producer, visual artist, and writer Neko Case has built a career with her distinctive style and musical versatility. In addition to her numerous critically-acclaimed and Grammy-nominated solo records, Case is a founding member of The New Pornographers. She authors the newsletter ‘Entering The Lung’ and is currently composing the musical theater adaptation of an Academy Award winning motion picture.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Grand Central Publishing (January 28, 2025)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1538710501
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1538710500
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.1 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.9 x 1 x 8.6 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 71 ratings

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4.5 out of 5 stars
71 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on February 16, 2025
    As someone who has struggled to overcome many similar circumstances, it was a comfort to hear how Neko navigated the terrain both literally and figuratively. Her willingness to open up to such a profound level is endearing to say the least. My first hope was to better know this artist, who's music has been a Godsend in my life, and I feel like I truly do know her better now. My second hope was to drink from the fountain of her precision phrasing, her choice of delicious vocabulary, that she's known for in her songs, and she delivered in spades. I read and absorbed the prose like a sponge. Ms. Case is a champion of authenticity and this book is proof. BRAVA to her and all who encouraged this book into being.
    ---- Hali Langton
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2025
    This book is heartbreaking, humorous, and hard to put down. As a fan of Neko's music, I definitely wanted to know more about her and she didn't hold back. I don't think I could have survived the childhood she described. I'm glad she's come out on top. Incredible life. Incredible artist.
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 28, 2025
    Review by
    Librarian 826661
    Last updated on Nov 26 2024
    I had never heard of this author before,Neko Case. As a lover of R&R,esp.Acid Rock of the 70’s,Folk Music,R&B,Bluegrass ,Classical Music and Opera,never was into Country nor Alternative,Punk,Heavy Metal. I love reading all different bios,not just of the rich and/or famous. This was a quick read and interesting as to how coming from such a terrible upbringing with two parents that had issues from their own past, Neko not only survived with her love of music and dedication and determination to survive and succeed. Just putting up with being as part of traveling musicians in seedy bars,clubs,etc driving all over the U.S. either can make or break one,especially earning so little money for your efforts.Perseverance wins in the end if you have talent,love your craft as well as believe in yourself.
    Thank you NetGalley,and Grand Central Publishing for the opportunity to read this ebook.
    Book will be on sale,January 28,2025.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2025
    I have been waiting my whole life for this book I think. Neko Case’s music has been with me my entire adult life. The first half of the book detailing what came before that is so rich, luminous, and familiar; it was no accident I found her. Generations of women will see themselves in this origin story. As always, her prose is poetry unlike any other. See the unseen.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2025
    A fantastic read! Just like the way Neko’s music speaks to me, these are stories of the light and the dark, and things that are sometimes both, interdependent and indistinguishable. She is a beast who chose to live life on her own terms. Bravo
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2025
    Beautifully written and painfully honest. Neko Case's lyrics have always been artful poetry, but her prose is even better. Her storytelling is urgent, painful and highly engaging. As a GenX feral kid myself, I found the book relatable. As a fan of her music, I found the book deeply engaging and insightful. Plus she name-dropped My Name and Seaweed, two of the best bands of the late 80s/early 90s.
    Highly recommended
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 28, 2025
    As a fan of Neko Case and her music, I was enthusiastic to read this memoir and discover whether her impressive songwriting talent translated to the printed page of her first book in the story of her life. It does, indeed. Having no familiarity with the elements of her biography, this was a particularly enlightening and moving account of a child raised in relative poverty and neglect who learns to develop her considerable artistic gifts in spite of a host of traumatic events, painful experiences, and difficult situations. Thankfully, though, her recounting of the challenges and privations of growing up poor in the Pacific Northwest don't overwhelm the reader, thanks to her frequent inclusion of moments of great beauty, tenderness, and humor. The author and I are nearly the same age, which contributed to my particular enjoyment of her story of growing up immersed in many of the same elements of pop culture that captured my own attention. I also consider myself a devoted music lover of above average intensity, but it was a revelation to read the account of someone with an absolute obsession with music in every possible way. The author's description of constant immersion in recorded music for hours at a time on a daily basis certainly resonated with my own experience. I especially appreciated her reported use of an "imitation Walkman" as her preferred delivery mechanism for her listening habit, as I remember doing the same. (I also was incapable of affording the genuine article back in the day!) Her obsession with attending live music performances in her formative years eclipsed even my own, and I was particularly excited to read the names of the dozens of bands that she enjoyed in concert. If someone were to curate a playlist of all the bands the author name-checks in this volume, that would be one incredible listening experience. Neko Case is a talented and creative multi-disciplinary artist, and her skill is just as formidable in this book as in any other medium she has attempted. I was enthralled the entire way through, and found myself frequently and repeatedly thinking, "OK: just one more chapter and I'll put it down and get some sleep." Very rarely was I able to do that.
    I loved this book and I highly recommend it, even for readers who have not yet had the opportunity to enjoy the author's music.
    7 people found this helpful
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