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Split: A Memoir of Divorce Paperback – April 7, 2009
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Suzanne Finnamore didn?t see it coming. Well, she saw some things?for example, a cocktail napkin on which her husband had scribbled a Cole Porter love song and an indecipherable name?but she refused to acknowledge it. She was busy tending to their son and creating the perfect home. Until the night it all imploded. ?I deserve happiness,? he said, which apparently translated into ousting her from his life. At once funny, sad, and unflinchingly fierce, this memoir will resonate with anyone who has endured the end of a relationship?and come out on the other side changed.
- Print length272 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateApril 7, 2009
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.68 x 8.25 inches
- ISBN-100451226003
- ISBN-13978-0451226006
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Editorial Reviews
Review
?"Entertainment Weekly"
?Brilliant, poignant, and completely unique.?
?Augusten Burroughs, #1 "New York Times" bestselling author of "Running with Scissors"
?Far from a bitter divorce diatribe, this is a witty, graceful journey through denial, acceptance and ultimately triumph.?
?"Family Circle"
?A superb writer.?
?"Elle"
?Achingly wry and supremely smart.?
?"New York Daily News"
?Hilarious and moving.?
?"USA Today"
?I loved it, loved it, loved it.?
?Haven Kimmel, #1 "New York Times" bestselling author of "A Girl Named Zippy"
aA funny, furious, and elegantly crafted memoir.a
a"Entertainment Weekly"
aBrilliant, poignant, and completely unique.a
aAugusten Burroughs, #1 "New York Times" bestselling author of "Running with Scissors"
aFar from a bitter divorce diatribe, this is a witty, graceful journey through denial, acceptance and ultimately triumph.a
a"Family Circle"
aA superb writer.a
a"Elle"
aAchingly wry and supremely smart.a
a"New York Daily News"
aHilarious and moving.a
a"USA Today"
aI loved it, loved it, loved it.a
aHaven Kimmel, #1 "New York Times" bestselling author of "A Girl Named Zippy"
"Finnamore, already an accomplished novelist, easily makes the transition to creative nonfiction. Progressing through Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's five stages of death and dying - denial, anger, bargaining, grief, and acceptance - she expertly creates... a treatise on an important subject in family relations - divorce - describing how she learned of her ex-husband's infidelity, realized he wasn't the right man for her, struggled as a single mother, and came to terms with losing her status as a "happily married woman." Recommended.
a"Library Journal"
"SPLIT is brilliant, poignant and completely unique. Suzanne Finnamore has refined her caustic wit to the point where it is now an assault rifle perfectly aimed at both herself and marauding spouses throughout America. Her voice captivates even the most jaded lovers."
aAugusten Burroughs, #1 "New York Times" bestselling author of "Running With Scissors"
"So Perfectly Right. I loved it, loved it, loved it. p.s. Loved it."
aHaven Kimmel, #1 "New York Times" bestselling author of "A Girl Named Zippy"
"SPLIT is heart-rending and beautiful; Finnamore is a master storyteller, and this time, the story is her own. She is that rarest of things on today's literary landscapea a truly great writer, the real deal. This book will never let you forget it."
aDarin Strauss, author of "More Than It Hurts You" and "Chang and Eng"
"Powerful. SPLIT reads like a greased bullet."
aJudith Moore, bestselling author of "Fat Girl"
"SPLIT is a terrific piece of writing. Powerful, moving, well-written, with some profound and sometimes poetic insights into the human condition. I ask no more from literature."
aGerald Nicosia, author of "Memory Babe"
aA sharp, cut-to-the-quick account of painful divorce....In brief, astute chapters riddled with a dry, deadpan humor, the author reconstructs this surreal journeya]Finnamore conveys in this frank, winning memoir her supreme vulnerability and bravery.a
a"Publishers Weekly"
"Finnamore...easily makes the transition to creative nonfiction...Progressing through Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's five stages of death and dying-denial, anger, bargaining, grief, and acceptance-she expertly creates scenes spiced with dialog to convey her emotions. Good reading; recommended."
a"Library Journal"
"SPLIT is brilliant, poignant and completely unique. Suzanne Finnamore has refined her caustic wit to the point where it is now an assault rifle perfectly aimed at both herself and marauding spouses throughout America. Her voice captivates even the most jaded lovers."
Augusten Burroughs, #1 "New York Times" bestselling author of "Running With Scissors"
"So Perfectly Right. I loved it, loved it, loved it. p.s. Loved it."
Haven Kimmel, #1 "New York Times" bestselling author of "A Girl Named Zippy"
"SPLIT is heart-rending and beautiful; Finnamore is a master storyteller, and this time, the story is her own. She is that rarest of things on today's literary landscape a truly great writer, the real deal. This book will never let you forget it."
Darin Strauss, author of "More Than It Hurts You" and "Chang and Eng"
"Powerful. SPLIT reads like a greased bullet."
Judith Moore, bestselling author of"Fat Girl"
"SPLIT is a terrific piece of writing. Powerful, moving, well-written, with some profound and sometimes poetic insights into the human condition. I ask no more from literature."
Gerald Nicosia, author of "Memory Babe"
A sharp, cut-to-the-quick account of painful divorce....In brief, astute chapters riddled with a dry, deadpan humor, the author reconstructs this surreal journeyFinnamore conveys in this frank, winning memoir her supreme vulnerability and bravery.
"Publishers Weekly"
"Finnamore...easily makes the transition to creative nonfiction...Progressing through Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's five stages of death and dying-denial, anger, bargaining, grief, and acceptance-she expertly creates scenes spiced with dialog to convey her emotions.Good reading; recommended."
"Library Journal"
So Perfectly Right. I loved it, loved it, loved it. p.s. "Loved it,"
Haven Kimmel, "New York Times" bestselling author of "A Girl Named Zippy" and "The Used World"
""SPLIT" is brilliant, poignant and completely unique. Suzanne Finnamore has refined her caustic wit to the point where it is now an assault rifle perfectly aimed at both herself and marauding spouses throughout America. Her voice captivates even the most jaded lovers."
Augusten Burroughs, "New York Times" bestselling author of "Running With Scissors"
"Powerful. "SPLIT" reads like a greased bullet."
Judith Moore, bestselling author of "Fat Girl"
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Berkley; Reprint edition (April 7, 2009)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 272 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0451226003
- ISBN-13 : 978-0451226006
- Item Weight : 8.8 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.68 x 8.25 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #2,406,588 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3,195 in Divorce (Books)
- #19,907 in Sociology Reference
- #24,407 in Women's Biographies
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Suzanne Finnamore was born in Los Angeles and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. She graduated from UC Berkeley with a degree in English Literature. She has published four books and has been translated into twenty languages. Her debut novel, "Otherwise Engaged", was an international bestseller and a Barnes & Noble Discover New Author selection. Her second book, "The Zygote Chronicles", was a Washington Post Book of the Year in 2002. Her third book, "Split: A Memoir of Divorce", was excerpted in the New York Times Modern Love column and was a Library Journal book of the year. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, New York Magazine, Mademoiselle, Elle, Redbook, Glamour, Marin Magazine, PoetryNow, the San Francisco Chronicle, USA Today, and has been included on several Oprah reading lists and Little Oprah Book Anthologies. She lives with her very last husband, Tom, and their two little dogs.
"My Disappearing Mother: A Memoir of Magic and Loss in the Country of Dementia" began as a column in The New York Times, “Dementis Is A Place Where My Mother Lives. It Is Not Who She Is,” which ran on Mother’s Day 2022.
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find this memoir deeply emotional, with one review describing it as a gut-wrenching depiction of divorce realities. The book is funny and entertaining, with one customer noting how the author draws readers in with her humor and wit. Customers praise the writing style, with one review highlighting its razor-sharp prose, and many consider it a good beach read.
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Customers appreciate the emotional depth of the memoir, describing it as an inspiring and gut-wrenching depiction of the realities of divorce, with one customer noting how well it expresses feelings of losing love.
"..."Split" is an honest, raw, intelligent, and deeply darkly humorous window into the soul of a woman going through a divorce she does not want..." Read more
"...I would recommend this book. It will make you laugh, feel good story with some truth to it." Read more
"...Funny, pithy, insightful, deep...how about a whole story based on characters modeled after Betty Lady and Christopher?..." Read more
"...her therapeutic memoir is loaded with hilarious anecdotes, honed by a sharp wit, which will bring a smile to you face and pain to your heart...." Read more
Customers find the book humorous and entertaining, with one review noting how the author draws readers in with her humor and wit.
"..."Split" is an honest, raw, intelligent, and deeply darkly humorous window into the soul of a woman going through a divorce she does not want..." Read more
"Easy read, entertaining and fun. I would recommend this book. It will make you laugh, feel good story with some truth to it." Read more
"...Funny, pithy, insightful, deep...how about a whole story based on characters modeled after Betty Lady and Christopher?..." Read more
"...However, her therapeutic memoir is loaded with hilarious anecdotes, honed by a sharp wit, which will bring a smile to you face and pain to your..." Read more
Customers find the book readable, describing it as a wonderful and good beach read, with one customer noting it's a quick read.
"...I highly recommend this book and it's a quick read. Good beach read!" Read more
"Very good book - sometimes heart wrenching because it's an actual person going through an actual divorce. Very good and I recommend this book." Read more
"...Good read" Read more
"Great, humorous read! After it is all over! Don't think I would have enjoyed it while still in the middle of the legal process." Read more
Customers appreciate the writing style of the book, describing it as wonderful and engaging, with one customer noting its razor sharp prose.
"Easy read, entertaining and fun. I would recommend this book. It will make you laugh, feel good story with some truth to it." Read more
"...But now...enough about you, okay? You are such a terrific writer, I can imagine that your fiction would be sensational!..." Read more
"...vows and love as well as the state of matrimony today, in a raw and witty way...." Read more
"...The author is a talented writer and her ex is an ass. I wish him the worst. (And even if she has forgiven him, I don't)...." Read more
Customers appreciate the authenticity of the book.
"..."Split" is an honest, raw, intelligent, and deeply darkly humorous window into the soul of a woman going through a divorce she does not want..." Read more
"...Finnamore writes about loss with brutal honesty and razor sharp prose. And she's occasionally hysterical. It's a wicked combination...." Read more
"Authentic, humorous, emotional, and ultimately inspiring!..." Read more
"Amazing, touching, sweet, and above all else, honest. Worth a read." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on September 25, 2009I discovered this book in the midst of my own separation and ultimate divorce. In any crisis I turn books - and in this case, I had grown really tired of the trite and glib "avoid these 5 divorce pitfalls" and "take charge of your new single life" books and articles. "Split" is an honest, raw, intelligent, and deeply darkly humorous window into the soul of a woman going through a divorce she does not want inflicted on her by a cheating husband. As the disclaimer at the beginning of the book states, the story isn't for the faint of heart or the squeamish. It's not going to give you five tidy ways to just "let it go". (Although there is a hilarious checklist that includes "give him everything starting with consonants, you keep everything starting with vowels...") It's real and it's honest and if you're in the same boat it's a life raft in a crazy-making time! It's scene stealer is Bunny, the heroine's mother, who puts forth cocktail hour gems like "that's the thing about men, they never die when you want them to". Loved it!
- Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2022Easy read, entertaining and fun. I would recommend this book. It will make you laugh, feel good story with some truth to it.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2008Shame on you Suzanne Finnamore, in your first to memoirs you didn't share with your faithful readers the huge red flags that were waving in your face about your husband "N". Thus, some of us justifiably felt a little cheated ourselves when we found out about these omens after the fact in your latest memoir of divorce, "Split". That aside, you did a superb job describing the horrors and heartbreak of betrayal. You made us laugh and cry and feel joyful at your survival.
But now...enough about you, okay? You are such a terrific writer, I can imagine that your fiction would be sensational! Funny, pithy, insightful, deep...how about a whole story based on characters modeled after Betty Lady and Christopher? Make something up...enough real life already.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2013Ordered for a friend ~ I practically read it to her. It was okay but it was tough to get through because it lingered on and at one point I wondered why is this a book?? My friend liked some of the passages but it didn't really help her. I suppose if you are going through a divorce with a cheating husband then this book may be for you.
- Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2008In her Anger section (Stage II) she says, "The snag about marriage is, it isn't worth the divorce. My new doctrine is, never marry. I won't ever again. It is absolute swill. It's not just my marriage. It's all marriages except a handful. Marriage is a conspiracy from Tiffany's, florists, the diamond industry, and Christian fundamentalists. The only thing good about it is the diamond ring, the wedding gifts, and the honeymoon. A, (the name she gives her son in the book) I could have gotten anywhere. I could have gotten A from a turkey baster and a lovely gay man with a college education and a pleasant disposition. IF ONLY I'D HAD THAT MUCH SENSE AT THE TIME. I'm sending turkey basters to all my single girlfriends, with holly tassels, for Christmas."
In Bargaining (Stage III) she says, "Sorry is the two-dollar bill of words. It's worth something, but in the end it's ridiculous, a souvenir at best."
Section IV: Grief, she says, "Grief, I understand with icy clarity, is simply information I allow myself to know."
And she says this, when wondering what she might say to her son one day when he asks about divorce: "I will say: 'You enter into - well. You enter into a kind of madness. You will make discoveries, not all of them happy. And the surprises are not staggered or regularly spaced, they are coming at you at light-speed, all at once, and you have to continue. You don't get to stop and say, I'll pick this all up in a year or so, when it isn't so difficult or painful or scary. When I'm ready. No no no. You have to go back in daily, until. Until it passes, or something happens to lessen its dark brilliance. you never know when this will be. You just have to keep meeting it. And gradually it disperses, leaving a small tear in your heart. A little hole, an aperture in you, as in a camera lens which, in the right light, can be perceived and accepted as a perspective-enhancing hole.'"
You don't have to be divorced, almost divorced, thinking about divorce, or even know someone getting divorced, to appreciate this book - it's about grief. And aren't we all grieving something, or someone? Or both?
- Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2014At first blush, Finnamore appears to be a wronged woman. Her husband leaves her for another woman, her friends turn against her, and she has money problems.
With a careful read, it's clear to see that she brought her suffering onto herself. By chasing a man and breaking the Rules, she deserves her punishment. Had she waited for someone to pursue her without intervening, I think that she would have found a more stable relationship. The saddest thing is that she chose her husband based on his charisma, much-older age, and good looks, instead of selecting him based on good character. As a 22yo, I'm ashamed that so many women do the kinds of things Finnamore did--sleeping with her ex during the divorce, selecting a cad in the first place--and I have full confidence I won't be so stupid when I select my future husband.
Though I think she's a terrible writer, I gave two stars because she's a textbook example of what to NOT do with your life. Single women, pay attention! Select poorly, and you will end up with her fate!
Top reviews from other countries
- Ann'reaReviewed in the United Kingdom on January 22, 2014
5.0 out of 5 stars TOP READING
this book blew me away, I lent it to a friend and never got it back, I will have to buy another as I really do want to re-read it. Well written ... the flow is excellent, tear producing, anger rose, laughed out loud ... seriously a must for anyone who has a cheating partner ... shows you that life WILL get better. I particularly enjoyed being in the countryside ... the descriptive way that it was written transported me there ...
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