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Here to Make Friends: How to Make Friends as an Adult: Advice to Help You Expand Your Social Circle, Nurture Meaningful Relationships, and Build a Healthier, Happier Social Life Paperback – January 28, 2020

4.0 4.0 out of 5 stars 133 ratings

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Skip the small talk and learn how to build a supportive community, engage with new people, and cultivate authentic, long-lasting friendships at every stage of life.

**Foreword INDIE Awards 2020 GOLD Winner for Family & Relationships**

It sometimes seems like everyone has a big, happy, fulfilling social life, full of lifelong friendships...except you. As we grow older and school friendships fade, it can be difficult to meet new people and cultivate meaningful friendships. How do you strike up a conversation with a stranger? How do you move from mutual acquaintances to real friends?

Here to Make Friends has the answers to all of these questions and more. Written by a licensed therapist, this book is packed full of helpful advice and tips to overcome social anxiety and start building a stronger social circle, such as:


  • Tips for moving past small talk
  • Advice for getting out of your own head
  • Suggestions for fun and memorable “friend dates”
  • Strategies for connecting meaningfully with other people



Everyone wants to feel connected.
Here to Make Friends is the perfect companion for moving past the sometimes-lonely post-school stage and into lasting, fulfilling friendships.

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Hope Kelaher is a therapist based in New York City and author of Here to Make Friends. She has extensive training in relational and systemic therapy and received post-graduate training from The Ackerman Institute for the Family. Hope has a degree in public health from The Johns Hopkins University and a clinical social work degree from Columbia University. Her passion is to help those struggling with anxiety and depression find healing connections among family and friends. Hope currently lives in Manhattan, where she is always working to make new friendships and strengthen her existing ones. In her spare time, Hope enjoys long walks with her dog, Luna, training for half-marathons, fishing, rowing, and cooking.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Ulysses Press (January 28, 2020)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 164604004X
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1646040049
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5 x 0.8 x 7 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.0 4.0 out of 5 stars 133 ratings

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4 out of 5 stars
133 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2020
    I stumbled upon this book on Amazon and am so happy I gave it a try. as a single person in my 40s I can really relate to this issue but wasn't really aware of how easy it could be to build new friendships. This book dosent just give helpful tips but those tips provide hope and enthusiasm. I highly recommend to others who value friendship (pretty much everyone).
    18 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2020
    I recently read Here to Make Friends and I highly recommend the text for everyday readers looking for additional insight into friendships, as well as to those of us who may struggle with friendships from time to time. As a mental health provider I am interested in sharing it with my clients as it has great exercises that can be easily utilized and reflected upon to help support social goals. Overall, easy and informative read!
    15 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on August 30, 2022
    While not containing any big surprises, I found the exercises helpful for reflection. However, she does skip my age group (30-50) when speaking to specific demographics. I don't think this was worth my $ sadly.
    38 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2020
    This book is somewhat inspiring . The one complaint is that it’s highly clinical. It did prompt me to take some action regarding making new friends. I appreciated the inclusion of friend-finding apps.
    14 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2020
    Highly recommend this excellent book. I believe it is essential for those of us looking to expand our social network and get back in touch with friends from our earlier years. I found the writing to be accessible, clear, concise and inspiring. The tips, charts and other concrete tools help to motivate direct action and measure results. I’ve started putting it to use and the effort I’m making is seeing positive results. Thank you!
    13 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2023
    If the prospect of wanting to make friends or the feeling that you don’t have close connections is new to you, this book is probably pretty helpful. It was written for the person who had a family that loved them and made friends easily as a kid.

    If you have social anxiety, perpetual loneliness, or an experience of not having a safe and supportive family history, this book is pretty insulting. It focuses on platitudes and a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” attitude that’s frustrating and disheartening for anyone who has chronically tried and failed at making or maintaining friends.
    49 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on July 18, 2020
    What a delightful read on friendships and the self-reflective piece that you are rewarded with throughout the text is invaluable! A genuine holistic look at some valuable truths. It’s a must have for your library. Go buy it!
    6 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Reader
    4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 31, 2021
    Overall I enjoyed this book and found it helpful. I imagine that many reading this book are adults and have a fair amount of self-knowledge. When we know ourselves it makes it easier to be choosy about friendship. Friendship has a sacred, spiritual dimension when it’s right, so my little tip here is for us to become people of faith and character. With God’s love within us we can choose wisely. I wish everyone reading this book well. We all deserve a good friend who is true.