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A Heart That Works Hardcover – November 29, 2022
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New York Times Bestseller * New Yorker Best Books of 2022 * Entertainment Weekly Best Books of 2022 * USA Today Best Books of 2022 * Time 100 Must-Read Books of 2022 * Mother Jones Books We Needed in 2022 * People Fall Must Read * 2022 BuzzFeed Fall Reading Pick * New York Post Best Books of 2022 * New York Times Editors’ Choice
This is the story of what happens when you lose a child, and everything you discover about life in the process, by the star of the Amazon Prime series Catastrophe.
In 2018, Rob Delaney’s two-year-old son, Henry, died of a brain tumor. A Heart That Works is Delaney’s intimate, unflinching, and at times fiercely funny exploration of Henry’s beautiful, bright life and the devastation of his loss—from the harrowing illness to the vivid, bodily impact of grief and the blind, furious rage that followed through to the forceful, unstoppable love that remains. In the madness of his grief, Delaney grapples with the fragile miracle of life, the mysteries of death, and the question of purpose for those left behind.
Profound, painful, full of emotion, and bracingly honest, Delaney’s memoir offers solace to those who have faced devastation and shows us how grace may appear even in the darkest times.
- Print length196 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherSpiegel & Grau
- Publication dateNovember 29, 2022
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
- ISBN-101954118317
- ISBN-13978-1954118317
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From the Publisher




Editorial Reviews
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“As heartbreaking as the book may be, Delaney’s pitch-black humor buoys even the toughest moments. . . . Delaney’s book is ultimately about all-encompassing, heart-exploding love.”—New York Times
“Written in beautiful prose that occasionally veers into justifiable rage, Delaney’s words are rich with sorrow while also managing the even more astonishing feat of often being legitimately funny.”—San Francisco Chronicle
“To those who have felt the icy grip of grief around their own throats, it is a relief to read an account of grief that is not a series of hard-won life lessons wrapped in a gratitude journal. . . . The result is a book that sings with life.”—Washington Post
“Beautiful, acerbic, and vulnerable . . . An unfiltered, rageful, loving, sad and hilarious (yes, HILARIOUS) look at grief.”—Ryan Reynolds
“Inspirational . . . Read this book not for Delaney’s celebrity nor even for a good cry but for something more: a rare picture of the family coping with the worst thing that can happen, with love and humor, all illuminated by a kind of costly grace.”—Mother Jones, “The Books We Needed in 2022”
“A devastatingly candid account of a parent’s grief that will have readers laughing and crying in equal measure . . . Heart-wrenching and impressively self-aware.”—Kirkus (starred review)
“Frank, razor-sharp writing . . . Delaney digs deep on every page, baring his soul and sharing a remarkable range of emotions while relating the worst moments of his life. His is truly a heart that works.” —BookPage (starred review)
“A generous gift—he invites us into places of wrenching, claustrophobic grief and the most intimate family joys. We come away feeling a little stronger, like we can somehow handle life a little better. . . . May well be the best thing published in 2022.”—Esquire
“[Delaney’s] writing had me drawn in from page one, and the book is written with gut-wrenching honesty. . . . I put this on a shelf with The Year of Magical Thinking, When Breath Becomes Air and Until I Say Goodbye. These books remind me to take time to experience every day with as much joy as I can.”—Book Reporter
“Delaney is a phenomenal storyteller, and this memoir is tender, vulnerable, warm, and darkly funny. A Heart That Works is in the same league as The Year of Magical Thinking in its stark, clarified articulation of grief, and the delusion and disbelief that accompany the tragedy.”—BuzzFeed
“Profound, crushing, and wrenching, this account of a father’s love takes the full measure of grief.”—Publishers Weekly
“Your heart will soar with the twinkly wonder of parenthood and humanity.”—Amazon Book Review
“An essential exercise in empathy.”—Hollywood Reporter
“A wrenching, unflinching and somehow often funny memoir.”—USA Today
“An affecting portrait of a father’s love for his son.”—Time, 100 Must-Read Books of 2022
“Brave, harrowing, inspiring . . . A wonder.”—People
“Overwhelmingly moving . . . Vital and very, very funny.”—The Guardian
“Beautiful and vital.”—Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper
“An intense, heartbreaking memoir about the illness and death of his toddler son. Will resonate deeply [with anyone] who's lost a loved one, especially a child.”—Margaret Atwood on Twitter
“I could have read about Henry for a thousand pages. It is impossible not to share in Delaney’s tenderness, his attention, his anger, his night-black humor, and impossible not to see his son through his eyes: loved, learning, smiling ecstatically. I will turn to this book again and again, to feel deeply and to learn about this world from Henry.”—Patricia Lockwood, author of No One Is Talking About This and Priestdaddy
“This book is so rich with grief and love and pain and humor and an incandescent, purifying, flame-throwing wrath. Though Delaney can't bring Henry back, he can—and does—show enough of him to the world to make a reader see him a little bit, know him a little bit, and fully love him. What an unbelievable gift.”—Lauren Groff, author of Fates and Furies and Matrix
“I don’t think I've ever read anything before that captures the enormity and power of parental love, how radical it is, how transformative and total.”—Eleanor Catton, author of The Luminaries, winner of the Man Booker Prize
“What a read. Its beauty and pain and humor and anger will help many people. This is a beautiful monument.”—Richard Osman, author of The Thursday Murder Club
“Emotionally raw, yet masterfully told, A Heart That Works is the incredibly rare book that can move the reader to tears or fury or laughter within moments, if not at the same time. At the heart of this intimate story of coming to terms with death is a stubborn embrace of life itself.”—Mat Johnson, author of Invisible Things and Pym
“I love this book, and it is a tough ride, filled with grace and beauty and unimaginable pain. I cried a number of times, laughed a lot, grieved with the Delaneys, and underlined so many moments of courage, exposure, humanity, and the deepest meaning. All I can say is, Wow.”—Anne Lamott
“This book is unlike anything I’ve ever read. Brutally honest, powerful, like a beautiful howl. A love letter to Delaney’s precious boy. To his wife. His family. To parenthood. It is a book that will help so many grieving parents. I loved everything about it.”—Laura Zigman, author of Separation Anxiety and Small World
About the Author
Rob Delaney is a comedian, actor, and writer. He is widely known as the award-winning co-creator and co-star of the critically acclaimed Amazon Prime comedy Catastrophe. He is the author of the memoir Rob Delaney: Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage.
Product details
- Publisher : Spiegel & Grau (November 29, 2022)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 196 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1954118317
- ISBN-13 : 978-1954118317
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #60,757 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #193 in Grief & Bereavement
- #211 in Love & Loss
- #1,921 in Memoirs (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author

Hi there Amazon readers, Rob Delaney here. Welcome to my Author Page. I'm writing this on a train from London to Edinburgh, where I'll do a standup show, because I'm a comedian. I also wrote a book, called Rob Delaney: Mother Wife Sister Human Warrior Falcon Yardstick Turban Cabbage. Additionally, I have a television program you can watch exclusively on AmazonPrime, called CATASTROPHE. Sharon Horgan and I wrote it and star in it. Go ahead and read my book and watch my show. I worked very hard on both and they are funny.
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find this book heart-wrenching and honest, sharing candid emotions about grief and life. The writing is wonderfully crafted, with one customer describing it as poetically written, and customers appreciate its tragic humor that makes them laugh out loud. The story is beautifully told and meaningful, with one customer noting it's a brilliant read for both the bereaved and non-bereaved. Customers find the book raw and authentic, with one review highlighting its therapeutic value for parents and families.
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Customers find the book heart-wrenching, sharing candid emotions about grief and life, with one customer noting how the author's love and pain pour through the pages.
"...What I didn't know is how inexplicably Rob is able to feel. How deeply human, loving, and kind he is...." Read more
"Rob found a way to weave unfathomable heartbreak and circumstance with comedic relief and undying love for his family...." Read more
"...criticisms or reservations about a book that is such a powerful story of love and loss...." Read more
"...True human emotions we can all relate to." Read more
Customers find the book readable and magnificent, with one customer noting its self-deprecating style and another mentioning its brilliant approach for both bereaved and non-bereaved readers.
"...comedic takes are hard to look away from, and his self-deprecating style is delicious...." Read more
"...He didn't, by the way. There is righteous anger in this beautiful book, but I identified instantly with that sentiment without him having to explain..." Read more
"...At times this makes for immensely powerful and moving reading...." Read more
"...Not because it is an easy read by any means, but a beautiful, necessary education in vulnerability and how to love and feel. I laughed out loud...." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's humor, finding it both tragically funny and sweet, with several mentioning they laughed out loud while reading it.
"...His honest, odd, silly, acidic, and ridiculous comedic takes are hard to look away from, and his self-deprecating style is delicious...." Read more
"...found a way to weave unfathomable heartbreak and circumstance with comedic relief and undying love for his family...." Read more
"...It bears reiterating that it's funny as hell...." Read more
"...and shares his personal journey with us in a book sprinkled with humor and devastation. True human emotions we can all relate to." Read more
Customers praise the book's storytelling, describing it as a heart-rending tale of love and strength that is both meaningful and relatable.
"...the time I have with my wife and son, but it taught me incredibly important lessons in life, love, parenting." Read more
"...A Heart That Works is Rob's tribute to this beautiful little boy's life and his influence on everyone he meets...." Read more
"...crying while I write this review because the book is so beautiful, so meaningful, and so true for all of us...." Read more
"...He is amazing at telling stories in his stand up acts and the TV shows he’s written so I knew the book would be captivating in a multitude ways...." Read more
Customers appreciate the writing style of the book, describing it as wonderfully written and gifted, though some find it tough to read.
"...How deeply human, loving, and kind he is...." Read more
"Rob is a gifted writer and shares his personal journey with us in a book sprinkled with humor and devastation...." Read more
"...Not because it is an easy read by any means, but a beautiful, necessary education in vulnerability and how to love and feel. I laughed out loud...." Read more
"...is one that you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemy but he writes about it so beautifully that you almost feel it was the most important thing you..." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's honesty, describing it as authentic and frank.
"...His honest, odd, silly, acidic, and ridiculous comedic takes are hard to look away from, and his self-deprecating style is delicious...." Read more
"...And I was right. Here was raw honesty that’s been missing from my imaginary rough drafts that alternated between fluffy unicorns and rainbows, to..." Read more
"...But it is an especially deep and honest (and sometimes funny) account of what it is like to be WITH a precious, beautiful boy who happens to have a..." Read more
"...The way he can be so brutally honest with himself AND put it on paper is something very few of us have the grace to do...." Read more
Customers find the book valuable for parenting, with one customer noting it provides great insight into caregiving, while another describes it as a growth tonic for the human soul.
"...heartbreak and circumstance with comedic relief and undying love for his family. You will laugh, you will smile, and you will cry...." Read more
"...it is an easy read by any means, but a beautiful, necessary education in vulnerability and how to love and feel. I laughed out loud...." Read more
"...This family’s resilience and love are incredible" Read more
"...review because the book is so beautiful, so meaningful, and so true for all of us. I am sure Henry visits Rob in his dreams at night...." Read more
Customers appreciate the rawness of the book.
"...The emotions are still so recent and raw that they practically bleed onto the page...." Read more
"Raw, tender, bold and raucous. Life can be chaos...." Read more
"...it’s exactly what one would expect, but it is also brutally honest, raw, and open. I recommend this book to any parent...." Read more
"I love how open and honest Delaney is. It’s raw in the best way...." Read more
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a beautiful, generous gift full of heartache, humor, grief and most importantly, love
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2022I don't often climb into the tub, pull my knees tight around my chest, turn on the shower and let the hot water rain down upon my bare skin as I sob uncontrollably. Not often, but not NEVER. This morning became one of those days.
I've had the pleasure of messing around on Twitter with Rob Delaney a few times, as his absurd, pungent humor is infectious. His honest, odd, silly, acidic, and ridiculous comedic takes are hard to look away from, and his self-deprecating style is delicious. He's been something of a behemoth on Twitter, at least in the comedic realm, for years, and I've relished any/all interactions with him. I know he's a recovering addict, that he loves ham, loves to read, enjoys Sludge metal, as do I, along with great books, and I also know that he tragically lost his young son to a brain tumor a few years back. What I didn't know is how inexplicably Rob is able to feel. How deeply human, loving, and kind he is. I also didn't know that he's lived what I'd categorize as the greatest love story of all time with his wife, Leah. They are the couple that others don't simply envy because they've lasted so long and are sweet to one another more than the next, but the couple people fear because of what they've endured and yet still feel/act this way. They're the couple that illuminates our relationships and forces us to reconcile what love really is and how honest and real our bonds may (or may not), be. They are Nick and Nora from The Thin Man, gingerly rolled in Montague and Capulet, spritzed with Henry and Clare from The Time Traveler's Wife. Little Henry lived his too-short life far happier, and more deeply cared for because of their formidable, resplendent bond.
A Heart That Works is a book that destroys part of you while simultaneously revitalizing something you didn't know you possessed. I immediately developed an understanding of grief in ways I hadn't fully understood but thought I had. This book rips at you, slowly, before instantly eviscerating you, and then it holds you in the comfort of its truth and reassembles you, only to shatter you once again. Something more beautiful comes out in the collected, restitched pieces.
Finishing this book made me cry like I haven't in years, and it was glorious, truly. I shed many tears when my father died on Christmas day ten years ago, but over time I've stifled them, grown more callous, hardened, and reserved. Why? One of the central messages of A Heart That Works is Rob reminding me (and everyone) how wonderful it is to feel. To have loved someone, experienced them, laughed with them, touched them, eventually to lose them, and immediately realize how much more significant they were than we even knew. This book is a gift. A "soul kiss" as my father used to say. It needs delicate hands and soft eyes, and will sting you over and over. You'll be better for the wounds.
I can't imagine little Henry having anyone but Rob, his wife, their family, and the numerous caregivers he had around him. I can't begin to comprehend the magnitude of grief on this level, and of course I feel for Rob as any decent human would, but I also admire him. In a world where emotions, feelings, and pain, especially from a man's perspective, are often suppressed (or shunned when displayed), Rob says, "F that x infinity" and puts it all out there on the page, holding nothing back. It's absolutely beautiful to see. He's right to love the sight of others breaking down in tears after hearing his story; it's where the essence of the human experience lies. There's no value in holding back, filtering, or diluting. This book made me an unglued, sloppy mess for a solid hour and I have nothing but gratitude to Rob for it. Thank you.
I'm sorry about your boy, Rob. Love you, man.
- Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2025Rob found a way to weave unfathomable heartbreak and circumstance with comedic relief and undying love for his family. You will laugh, you will smile, and you will cry. As a new father, this opened my eyes to never take for granted the time I have with my wife and son, but it taught me incredibly important lessons in life, love, parenting.
- Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2022Hold on your hats n’ glasses, this is a long one.
A few weeks ago, my grief therapist texted me a link to a video with the message along the lines of, "I won't send you every grieving parent interview, but this one you have to see." It was this author on The One Show talking about the passing of his two-year-old son to brain cancer and how he'd written a memoir about it.
I had no idea it was going to be Rob Delaney, he who is beloved by me for the small, but crucial role of Peter in Deadpool 2 (X-Force!)
(I'm also under the general suspicion that he and David Harbour are the same person. It's the mustache. Have they ever been in the same room together? Just saying.)
I watched the interview and raced to buy the book...which was months from release. And it was because this author said something I felt like I'd been waiting to hear since June of 2018 when my 10 year old daughter Isabel, who spent five days on an ECMO, passed away from a cardiac arrest. And that was that he wanted to "write something very angry and hurt people." He didn't, by the way. There is righteous anger in this beautiful book, but I identified instantly with that sentiment without him having to explain why.
In that moment, I knew this book would unlock the last door that has thus far prevented me from writing my own memoir. And I was right. Here was raw honesty that’s been missing from my imaginary rough drafts that alternated between fluffy unicorns and rainbows, to shoving the worst, hardest, most effed up parts at reader and saying, BEHOLD MY SUFFERING, FOR IT IS GREATER THAN THINE, whether that's true or not.
So I mentally gave it 5 stars right out the gate.
The next step was to actually ready it, which I did in a few short hours, alternately laughing my ass off, crying, or staring in disbelief at the serendipities in our experiences: from the importance of Joan Didion, to memorial tattoos (I have a sleeve of them) to a loved one's suicide, to our children dying in 2018 on our birthdays. Plus, a host of micro-similarities that only come from having an inkling of what the writer is talking about. I am no means an authority on his grief, but I'm in the club and I get it. And reading this book was him saying to me, "I get it."
“After [Henry] died, I had the odd sensation of somehow being older than my parents, or at the very last having seen something that they hadn't, and it had changed me. ...No one had anything to offer me that could light my path and show me a way forward...That was a very sad and lonely feeling.”
This entire book could have been that paragraph only, and I'd have considered it money well spent. For grieving parents, this book is a path forward. For those struggling to know what to do for a grieving parent, this book is a path forward. My protectiveness over this book and everything in it might be irrational but anyone giving it one star can go "gargle a big bowl of diarrhea." Until you walk a mile, and all that. Because when you lose a beautiful, kind, sweet child every day forward on this earth needs a trigger warning. The blinders come off, and the blurred line between what is bs and what is real and true evaporates, and sometimes you just want to burn it all down.
And lest this review devolve into being all about ME (too late!) It bears reiterating that it's funny as hell. Darker, angrier, even funnier thoughts about losing a child share space with the grace and beauty inherent in such an experience, and it should. The metric crap-ton of hard stuff makes everything else all the more precious. To leave it out is to miss the point entirely, so I appreciate (such a weak word) the honesty in this book for mashing them both together and saying, "You might never know this, I hope you never know this, but THIS is what it is."
I am inspired and grateful for this book.
Another thing I know, is that a lost child slipping out of the memories, or thoughts, or the consciousnesses of the rest of the world, (that continues to chug on despite the enormous hole carved out of your soul) is another kind of agony.
When I light my nightly candle to Izzy, I'll add Henry to my thoughts and be grateful for him too.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2022It's very difficult to pose criticisms or reservations about a book that is such a powerful story of love and loss.The author has immense courage to tackle a story so filled with grief, as a testament to his beloved Henry. The emotions are still so recent and raw that they practically bleed onto the page. At times this makes for immensely powerful and moving reading.
At others, the constant appending of "sweet" or "beautiful" to every mention of any of his sons, the implication that they were all absolutely perfect and had no flaws or problematic behaviors ever, and the constant references to how much he wanted to kiss their cheeks, and the cheeks of his niece, etc., swamped the story in sentimentality.
The book partly redeems itself near the end, when he courageously confronts his and his wife's decision to stop treatment that would cause his son more suffering and probably kill him., but then the author pulls back and says he's not going to tell us about the moments immediately before or immediately after his son's death. After all the opening of his heart and his wounds and his love about all manner of things throughout the book and his openness about preparing for his son's death,, I felt this was almost dishonest.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2024Rob is a gifted writer and shares his personal journey with us in a book sprinkled with humor and devastation. True human emotions we can all relate to.
Top reviews from other countries
- Heather ClarkeReviewed in Canada on March 21, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars A father’s love and grief know no bounds. Beautifully, at times hilariously, written.
Couldn’t put it down, but I sobbed as I read. Ever since becoming a mother, all babies are my baby. So the theoretical exercise in which Rob Delaney says he wishes he could instruct people to imagine their own beloved child going through this horrific experience were actually enacted in my case.
You don’t read this book to know the outcome. We all know how this ended. You read it for the extraordinary way this family’s resilience and love wove together a beautiful life for a dying little boy, and for the way you are left knowing that his short life mattered.
It’s a beautiful book. It’s a difficult and funny book. It’s worth your tears. Henry and his beautiful, cherubic smile are worthy of our tears.
Read the book and hold your children closer.
-
jerjes emiliano aguirre chavezReviewed in Mexico on August 12, 2024
3.0 out of 5 stars Buen libro, pero llego dañado
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- Amazon CustomerReviewed in Italy on March 19, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars this book feels like life
Incredibly moving, heartbreaking, fun, shattering, raw and just beautiful. A generous gift for everyone to treasure, that enters your soul as waves of pure joy and sadness
- Amazon CustomerReviewed in Canada on July 30, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars amazing, requires reading for new parents
It makes you appreciate everything about your healthy new baby. You will laugh, cry and find a new sense of gratefulness
- JWReviewed in Canada on December 13, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars A book to make you laugh and cry at the same time
Read this book immediately. I always hear, “I don’t know what to say.” Which I interpret as “I don’t understand, or I cannot relate.” If you, or someone you know, are experiencing the grief of a child who died, Rob Delany will help you understand. Rob, you have written a beautiful tribute to Henry, your wife, and your sons. Thank you for giving a father’s perspective. Thank you for providing the words to help others understand the depth of grief we swim in daily.